


Is It Worth a Try?

by Catherine256



Category: The Good Doctor (TV 2017)
Genre: F/M, Marriage Discussion, Wedding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-09
Updated: 2020-07-09
Packaged: 2021-03-05 03:41:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,920
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25167871
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Catherine256/pseuds/Catherine256
Summary: Keeping this little ring box in the corner of his drawer for the last few months and trying to find a perfect moment for the proposal was stupid. He was stupid.
Relationships: Claire Browne/Neil Melendez
Comments: 15
Kudos: 45





	Is It Worth a Try?

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, everyone! I am struggling with my time management, but I promise soon you’ll get a new chapter of my other work I’ll Make Your Company:)
> 
> I don’t know how it supposed to be in English but I have my practice in the local internet edition that also has a newspaper, so it’s exciting and I’m a little busy now. But I just couldn’t throw away the idea for this work and have wrote it for a few days. There it is, I hope you’ll like it.
> 
> Please, don’t forget to leave a comment, it really helps:)

“Sorry, I was stuck in traffic,” she quickly lowers on the stool next to him and signs to the bartender to pour a glass of whiskey and refill her friend’s drink. “So, what’s going on?”

But there’s only a long pause.

“Neil...” she tilts her head.

He chuckles ruefully, “Claire doesn’t want to get married. At all.”

The bar’s crowded with a lot of different people, who just wanted to have some fun here and relax after work, and some of them actually turned around to look at Neil because he said it too loud to Audrey. But it doesn’t bother both of them.

“Woah, what? Did you propose?”

“No, didn’t get a chance,” Neil’s sipping on his drink.

“Thank God,” Lim exhales and his eyebrows lift up. “I mean, thank God you didn’t get to know about it the hard way,” her hand is placed on his shoulder, rubbing soothingly.

“Well, that was not the best way either,” he gives his old friend a sad smile, that she saw a lot in the last two years as he didn’t quite have success in his love life.

“What happened?” Lim’s anxious, seeing this grieving expression on Neil’s face after being so sure he’s gonna be fine and never feel this way again.

“Well, she bought a dress...”

_He hears her tiny barefoot steps approach the living room, immediately turning around, and his jaw almost drops to the floor as she appears, unsurely straightening the fabric of her brand new dress. Lavender silk flows down her figure and hugs her curves just right to his mouth getting wet and eyes locking on her magnificent silhouette._

_“Geez, you look gorgeous,” his voice’s hoarse._

_She laughs at his sweet affectionate eyes as he cleans his throat, trying to play it cool._

_“That’s all I need to never take off this dress,” Claire chuckles making him exhale whiningly a bit. “By myself, honey. I wouldn’t mind if you want to help...”_

_“Oh, I do want.”_

_Neil smiles smugly, coming closer, and wraps his hands around her waist, feeling the softest fabric and her warm skin that is covered by it under his fingers. His firm touches all over her back and a little below makes her shiver and press into him, gripping his shoulders with her gentle hands._

_“So, I guess you like it?” She asks breathy, when he slowly lowered his arms and placed on her hips._

_“The dress is amazing, but I think you just make anything look good on you,” he leans down and starts leaving tender kisses on her cheek, jaw, neck._

_“Flattery,” this word sinks between them as he finally kisses her lips lovingly._

_“And we both like it.”_

_She takes his neck, drawing him closer to her, and unleashes an open-mouthed kiss on his soft lips passionately. Fluttery feeling arises in her stomach when he ran one of his hand up and down her back and tangled the other in her soft curls, clinging to her with his whole body._

_They’re standing in the middle of the living room, warm feeling’s wrapping around them, making them overly sensitive and desirable, as gentle music’s playing in there, creating relaxing vibe._

_Out of breath, they have to stop for a moment, enjoying closeness and being in each other arms, looking deeply into the eyes and grinning. She frames his face sensually and rubs her thumbs on his flushed cheeks._

_Claire shiver, feeling his hot breath, when Neil’s lips came crashing onto her again briskly. It was only for a few more seconds and their a bit blurred eyes met again as their foreheads resting against each other._

_“Is your tuxedo ready?” She asks barely audible, catching her breath._

_He chuckles breathy, “That’s what you’re thinking about right now?”_

_“Just wondering how good we’re gonna look together at the wedding,” she replies, still having his arms firmly wrapped around her waist and running her hands up and down his strong shoulders and upper back._

_“I’ll take it tomorrow, it’s still getting ready,” Neil shrugs a little, stroking her hair lightly and making her lean to his hand in relish. “It’s gonna be a big day. Can’t believe they’re really gonna marry in two days,” he exhales._

_“Yeah, me too. It was just like yesterday when Lim told us they were engaged.”_

_“And now they’re gonna be a real family,” he places the softest kiss on Claire’s forehead, hugging her tightly and closing eyes for a moment._

_Maybe it’s the perfect time?_

_“They already are a family, though. Their commitment to each other is so clear and strong, no need to get married to know that it’s a real life-long thing between Audrey and Ethan,” Claire’s cheek presses to his chest, but he suddenly gets back a little._

_“You think... Marriage is pointless?” Neil frowns, feeling his chest tightens._

_“I just don’t think it changes established relationships and really necessary in this situation. So, what’s the point if everything’s already great? Family is not about titles or marriage licenses or rings, it’s about commitment to one another, respect one another, trust and confidence in the future together; it all comes from mutual agreement. That’s how I see it, Neil.”_

_She rubs his palm with her thumb gently as he’s releasing it slowly, making her heart sink._

_He was so wrong; time isn’t perfect at all._

_“I know what family is about, but marriage is important ‘cause it’s some sort of initiation in people’s lives that gives a start to new experience. It’s the beginning of a life-long commitment and the vow, made in front of God and family, that you are gonna get through everything together and be there for one another no matter what,” he crosses arms on his chest, looking affected._

_“You know how many people break their ‘official vows’ by leaving, cheating, lying, trust-loosing?” She air quotes, feeling a little on the edge as her voice cracks and sounds a bit higher and louder. “Because they thought marriage could make them commit to each other but somehow made them only suffer through it and feel restrained because of undue expectations; thought it could strengthen their togetherness and promise them to be in unit for the rest of their life but it made them loathe each other eventually; because family is about sharing life, knowing that you’re the one for each other, accepting every bad and good sides. That’s what matters, not the status.”_

_“And how many people actually don’t break their marriage, huh?” He shouts as his arms falls sharply._

_Her face flushed from growing tension between them as he almost disappointedly looks into her now furious green eyes he knows for the past four years and never seen them like that._

_“Marriage gives a chance to prove a commitment, makes people more responsible and confident in their future together.”_

_“Marriage doesn’t give anything, it’s people who do. Only way to prove a commitment is just to stay by each other’s side and be honest,” she tries to calm herself down and talk more softly._

_“You just twist everything to be right!”_

_“And you don’t want to be right? Married or not it doesn’t make us less than a family,” Claire’s frustrating. Suddenly, she makes it all about them._

_“Yes, it does!”_

_“To me it’s not!” She gives an eyeroll._

_“Then it sucks,” he suddenly shouts again and immediately regrets it, seeing her frightened eyes and making a step back from Claire. “Uh, sorry... I have to clear my head,” he mutters and hurries to the hallway, preventing himself from telling a lot of bad things he doesn’t mean but might say because he’s mad._

_“Neil...” she whispers remorsefully._

_He only gave her a quick look before getting out the door and leaving her alone and sorrowful as soft music still plays on the background in this silent loneliness._

Keeping this little ring box in the corner of his drawer for the last few months and trying to find a perfect moment for a proposal was stupid. He was stupid.

Lim’s eyebrows lift as she tilts her head, “So, you shouted and then fled? That is actually not how adults solve problems, Neil.”

“Oh, really? Thanks, Audrey, now I know for sure,” he replies sarcastically.

She only rolls her eyes and continues, “Well, she still wants to have a family with you, it just doesn’t matter if you’re getting married. It’s not that bad.”

Neil finishes his drink quickly and asks for refreshing, exhaling frustratingly, “She doesn’t want it, maybe because it’s me. Why am I the guy whose life-choices always don’t match with women’s ones?”

“Oh, come on, stop pity yourself,” Lim exclaims and gets his attention.

“Haven’t even started.”

“Huh, you have,” she leans back a little, smirking. “Claire’s not like Jessica nor even me. You are two peas in a pod, basically.” 

“Apparently, we’re not,” his lips are pursed.

“Firstly, I think you’re exaggerating, she wants to be with you no matter what and it’s what you have to understand after that talk, and secondly, you’re both right about marriage,” Lim confines.

Neil turns to her, tilting his head a bit, “We’re both right maybe, but still had a fight and thought the other’s wrong.”

He gives off only sadness and inside-emptiness, his eyes locked on her like she’s his lifeline here, the last hope.

“Maybe she’s just scared of formality and what sometimes comes with it, because she doesn’t know a lot of examples of happy marriages. Hell, she grew up in a single-parent family and her mother wasn’t a good one at all,” Lim explains, making him look at her closely.

“I... never thought about it this way,” he wonders. “Her life was hard,” he says matter-of-factly.

She nods and tries to find good words for clarifying what she thinks to him, “You’re right about a new life, officially established commitment after getting married and all this stuff, but Claire has a good point too. If you both in mutual agreement to spend the rest of your life with each other it means more than just get married because you have to.”

“Why are you getting married then?” He looks at her quizzically.

“Because... it’s another thing among others, more important things, to express our love to each other, make it more... tangible, I think? Show it to people and make it more clear that we’ve already found a person that makes us happy. That’s it, I think.”

“I want it all, too, but Claire...”

“You guys need to talk about it. Preferably calmly. Maybe she’ll tell you more about her fears and you tell more about what it means to you to get married. But actually if you’re happy just like that, maybe you have to relax and live your life, not thinking about officially getting married?”

“I don’t know... Damn, I really said to her it sucks that she didn’t get the ‘right’ point of mine,” he rolls his eyes, chuckling a little with sorrow.

“Just talk to Claire, but don’t push her,” she’s taking a long sip and then touching Neil’s shoulder again, gripping it. “It’s not the end, Neil. Just some odds, you have to get through.”

“I know it’s okay to fight sometimes, but this one just gets me nuts,” he admits.

“It happens. But still, you’re gonna be okay.”

“Yeah, I hope so,” he replies and takes a sip. “So... wedding. I can’t believe it really will be in a couple of days,” Neil’s eyes make soft and bright at the same time as he watches his old friend and the smile that appeared on her happy face.

“I can’t believe it too! But here we are,” she chuckles. “And I hope you and Claire both will come.”

“There’s no way we’re missing it,” Neil lifts his glass and she does the same, then they drink for it. “Ethan’s nervous?”

She scoffs and he smiles softly to her, “Oh yeah, but trying to play it cool.”

And that’s how this evening actually gets better and less intense. But there’s still a lot of bad thoughts in the back of Neil’s mind that couldn’t leave him even when conversation with Audrey finally becomes more relaxed.

***

It’s almost three in the night when he comes home after his meeting with Audrey, not completely drunk but definitely tipsy. He takes off his boots, trying to make it quick and soundless, but it falls from his hands and drops on the floor noisily.

And he freezes, listening if he woke Claire. But there’s no sound from the bedroom and he exhales quietly.

Melendez moves through the apartment, noticing a blanket on the couch in the living room and an unfinished glass of wine on the table counter there. She’s waiting for him, he thought, but then decided to go to sleep because he didn’t show up earlier.

He grabs his pants and t-shirt for sleep in the bedroom and after having quick shower changes. Claire is sound asleep in bed, hugging her pillow tightly and wrapping in a blanket.

So peaceful, that he decides to just take his pillow and sleep on the couch, not disturbing her. In the subconscious, he actually thinks maybe she doesn’t even want him here, so it’s better for him to leave her for the night.

But suddenly he hears her soft barely audible voice and flinches.

“Please, stay,” Claire pleads whisperingly, catching him with her sleepy eyes at the door frame. “Doesn’t matter if we had an argument, I still love you. And you don’t have to sleep on the couch just because of our disagreement.”

“If it’s okay with you,” he looks at her with hesitation.

“More than okay,” she smiles soothingly to him and leans back on the pillow.

Neil gets in bed and she immediately shares a blanket, tugging him in. As his head touches the soft pillow he feels more tipsy than before and her sweet gesture makes him smile softly to her as he moves closer and embraces her tightly.

“I love you, too, and we should talk later,” he whispers, kissing her head, as she buries her face in the crook of his neck and sighs.

“Mm-hmm,” he hears her muffles against his skin and drifts to sleep with her in his arms.

***

He gets cold somehow and has to wake up to see what’s going on here. But it’s not an open window or fallen blanket, he’s just alone in their bed.

Her presence is still here, though. Her pillow is squashed out of shape a little, sheets are crumpled, her floral-fresh scent is everywhere, he bet even on him too. He’s grateful it’s gonna be finally two days off and he can sleep as much as he wants.

And tomorrow they all are invited to the wedding. Still, some of them on-call, like Andrews, Glassman and all residents, who're gonna work in the morning and then head straight to the place of celebration. Lim’s on her sabbatical for a month to have a good honeymoon and spend a good time with her new future husband.

Melendez just has his scheduled days off, but still might be called for an urgency to the hospital.

He rolls over on the bed and takes his phone. Of course, Claire isn’t here; it’s nine in the morning and she is already on her shift. And they still never had a chance to talk about what happened yesterday.

It’s killing him. Now, after spending last night talking with Audrey and getting so many thoughts on what he should’ve said to Claire, how he should’ve acted. It all stuck in his mind for the rest of the longest day in his life.

He tried to play the upcoming dialogue in his head and make up with better answers, better explanations, just better words, actually. And waiting’s driving him crazy, he wanted to talk to her so much, finally deal with it and reach a consensus.

This whole situation reminded him of Jessica, who he agreed with and then get dumped because she knew he’s not gonna be happy with this decision. And now... that. Still, Audrey was right, Claire really wanted to have a family with him, she made it clear in the beginning of their relationship and only gets more closer to the idea with each day. He knows it for sure, kept it in the back of his mind yesterday but really found it again after clearing his head with drinks and talks with his old friend and good sleep with the woman he loves.

Neil’s scared it all might end like with Jessica and this thought grows stronger with all the hours he spends in an empty apartment, where he is only mounting silent, beating him in the head more than any loudness. He roamed from room to room, trying to cope with all scary thoughts and emotions that get him closer to insanity.

He can’t survive another breakup, just not with Claire. It wasn’t a revelation that she’s really something different. She’s special in every way, has a lot of goals in common with his own, unlike his ex-girlfriends. Losing her... he can’t even think of that. If even talking about marriage gets them almost apart, it’s not the time for it and maybe it doesn’t really matter for now? They’ve been together for a year, but he knows it’s a life-long relationship.

And he can’t destroy it that easily. It's an important thing they fought about, but it doesn’t matter if they eventually. They won’t, though. They can’t let it happen, he thought.

Her words from last night beat him inside. Hard. Unpredictable. How come he didn’t think much of it at the time? And then it was an epiphany. It was his lifeline throughout the day.

_Married or not it doesn’t make us less than a family._

Does she think they’re a family already?

He wore himself out by the end of the day, doing a workout, working on some recent cases, thinking a lot, when she finally made it home.

Her quiet footsteps seem like his hallucinations until she appears in the room and throws herself at him. Her hands go around him tightly and draws his face to hers, giving him passionate deep kisses before he even knows it.

She straddles her boyfriend quickly, never ending the kiss, and starts unbuttoning her blouse with slightly trembling hands. They stop only for him to take off his t-shirt and then she pulls him closer again or another round of hungry kisses.

Her hot mouth works on his neck as she blurts, “Is it... okay... with you?”

Neil just squeezes her hips and finally helps with undressing. His hands scoop her and pull her down on the couch with him on top now.

“I’ve missed you,” he murmurs next to her ear, touching the sensitive spot behind it with lips.

And with that Neil quickly undresses her and covers with kisses her soft exposed skin, slightly shimmered, hot and responsive. Every touch makes her moan louder, every glance makes her more vulnerable, every kiss makes her feel lust for him.

His lips passionately moves up her legs, spilling kisses all over her ankles, her calves, paying special attention to the sensitive skin under her knee, then on the inside of her thigh. It’s driving her to the edge when his kisses slow down so close to the place she really wants him to be with his soft lips and hot breath. Claire’s carnal desire for him leads to tangle her fingers in his dark hair and moves him from between her thighs to her face and kisses him hungrily.

Soft squeaking sound of hers drowns in the deep merging of their mouths. Neil smiles through their kiss, hearing her cute noises as she leans up her bottom and rubs onto him gently. Feeling her warmth and wetness underneath makes his lips slip down her face to her neck and then to her flushed chest, leaving chaotic kisses here and there and never actually pulling away from her skin.

Neil is so busy, touching her and making her aroused so he doesn’t even notice when she makes them switch positions again. His firm hands are playing with her nipples as she’s kissing him hard, biting his bottom lips and then softly soothing it with her tender tongue.

His hands move down her sides to her hips and grips, lifting them up, then slides himself inside her hot wetness gently and makes her go low on him leisurely. He helps her to keep her balance as she moves her hips up and down, in slight circles, feeling the pressure on all the right spots. His lips are placed on one top of her bouncing in a delicious way breast and then on the other, sucking on her hard nipples, one at a time.

Her sweet moans sink into the sweaty skin of his neck while his own noisy hot breath touches her ear, her tensed fingers clings to his shoulders as her hips continue to move onto him. And Neil’s hips are lifting towards her and arms closing around her and pressing on her back tightly.

She goes faster on him, muffling something in his ear in her high-pitched voice and making him groan and close his eyes in pleasure as he feels his body tensing with her every move. The most sensitive spot of her is rubbing onto him as her hips move in tender fast circles.

Her mouth opens somewhere in the crook of his neck and then she exhales loudly, making her last moan and shaking in his arms. He feels her insides are clenching around him, her hot heavy breath touching his skin and it’s throwing him over the edge so quickly and desirably so his arms squeezes her again.

His face buried in her shoulder and the only thing that comes through his mind and makes his numb body shiver was Claire’s sweet pure scent mixed with a hint of her sweat, medicine and even his own smell.

Neil finally comes to his senses, feeling her body still shivering and clinging to him. He stands from the couch, holding her in his hands tightly, and moves to their bedroom where he makes her comfortable under sheets and gets into it himself.

As they’re catching their breath, he thinks through everything that happened to them yesterday and tries to find good words to start with. Her eyes still sparks and her skin glows in this after-sex way and he smiles gently.

But suddenly Claire gets ahead of him, “I have been talking with my therapist after work today,” she starts as he watches her closely. “She explained that I have never seen a successful marriage that really lasted and never have a long-term relationship myself. That there’s a strong fear inside me that our commitment may end because of pressure of the marriage and all. So that’s the reason I’m so not into this stuff.”

“I thought you just maybe... don’t see me as a long-term partner. But I do, I thought I made it clear,” he frowns, rubbing her back up and down.

“I know, Neil. Of course I know it’s not just a fling or whatever.”

“I’m so sorry I shouted at you yesterday, you don’t deserve it, Claire. It just pissed me off, to be honest. You always knew I wanted a family, and it’s so unexpected that you actually think of it not the way I do. We settled down finally and I thought we’re ready for the next step... You said that we are a family even if we aren’t married...”

She doesn’t let him finish, “I said that and I meant it.”

“You were so right about it. It really got to me,” Neil replies a little ramblingly, meeting her green anxious eyes. “We _are_ , honey,” he places a kiss on her forehead and closes his eyes for a moment, enjoying this little moment with her hugging him.

“I’m sorry, but all this marriage thing... it’s frightening to me,” she touches the side of his face with her palm softly, making him look at her. “My mother never got married and all her marriages ended before it even get a chance to begin. Kayla died and Dash ended up alone. I’m sorry, but I’m scared I might... bring bad luck in our relationship if we get married,” she explains slowly and then chuckles sadly, “it sounds stupid, but I’m really afraid it might end wrong if we have. Mom always told me no one loved me more than her and never will, so I just was stuck with it and I’m so afraid it might destroy everything we built together because of me and my messy thoughts and life...”

Neil exhales heavily, “That’ll never happen, Claire, I swear,” he presses her closer with his hands. “I love you and I’m gonna repeat it as much as I can to make you really know it. I love you, Claire Browne, I love everything about you, good and bad, because all of it makes you you,” his deep voice wraps around her like a blanket and keeps her warm and safe and sound as her hands makes light circles on his chest.

“I am sorry, Neil.”

“It’s okay. Maybe it may change with time but it’s fine with me if it’s just us, together like that... Audrey was right, we’re happy already, just like that, and maybe we have to relax and live our life as it is.”

“So, you don’t mad at me?”

“Claire, I’m not mad at you, it’s just a fight.”

“Please, don’t run away from me next time. We should always talk, not ignore our problems.”

He tilts his head in a guilty way. “I know, Claire, I was just... scared that I would say something I don’t mean and then regret. And it was a really big fight.”

“Yeah, I know... But please, just don’t shout me out like that again. We have to talk or it doesn’t work,” she catches her breath suddenly and he kisses her heated cheeks.

“I know, I am sorry.”

Neil’s frozen for a long moment. His eyes gives her a long, studying look while his hands frame her face. He frowns fearfully, his eyes moves all over her face as he tries to know something important that eats him.

“What?” She asks carefully.

“I just realized that we haven’t talked about...”

“I want to have kids with you,” she replies quickly, reading his mind, it takes him two seconds to process her answer and then he exhales in relief. “Not now... But someday,” she explains and he chuckles softly, kissing her in lips.

“I want it, too. With you. Whenever you are ready,” he kisses her face and her palms, feeling warmth and love all over them, in and out.

It’s worth it anyway, he thinks. And maybe Neil will just give her that ring, patiently awaiting in his drawer, without any proposal.

***

California sunshine is still high in the sky and warming them up as they stroll around the beautiful wooden terrace that takes place on the hill, outside San Jose, and has a swoon-worthy sight of the open field and vineyards at the foot of it. Beyond this amazing green-grassy and wildflowery view soft-sided mountains rise up from it and fades in foggy clouds.

Bright but soft scent of some pastel flowers around them makes smiles grow and eyes close a bit, enjoying this perfect place to be. Everything around them milky white and some colorful accents just makes it more delightful and romantic out there.

Claire sighs a little louder than expected with her head up and her eyes drinking in the marvelous view around them as she squeezes his hand tightly with her fingers. Her smile is so bright under the light of this after-midday sun, her hazel green eyes are even more colorful and matched this lovely sight, brown skin shimmering and her cheeks are flushed, making her look so sweet that Neil can’t take his eyes off her actually. And Claire seemed to him so natural and more appealing than anything around them.

There’s already some people on the terrace, waiting for the ceremony. Claire doesn’t know any of them, so it seems like these people are kins of Ethan and Audrey who came earlier as she and Neil did. They’re talking with each other, standing in some small groups all around the place, but that doesn’t make them feel uncomfortable, because everything is just perfect out there and only warms their hearts.

“Oh my God, it’s gorgeous out there! I never thought Audrey and Ethan are that kind of couple who actually want to marry in this all romantic atmosphere with flowers and amazing nature sights and vineyards down there,” Claire is so stunned by everything she can see and her mouth slightly opens as she tries to gaze into everything at one time. “Uh, you just look at this beautiful trellis!” She drags him to that immediately.

Neil chuckles softly, seeing this amazed woman and being held by her, “And I never thought you are that kind of an overwhelming girl who is so easy to impress by any wedding stuff,” his hand is rested on the small of her back, feeling this soft silk dress under his fingers and looking over her another time. He never gets tired of appreciating her appearance again and again as he smiles genuinely to her. “Though I think this place is amazing, too.”

Claire’s fingertips touch his chest gently, their warmth slides up and down his covered skin of the torso and he sighs softly, feeling her so close to him and wanting to kiss her deeply right there. He leans down and as his lips are touching hers they’re interrupted by Morgan.

“Hey, get a room, you two.”

They turn to her simultaneously and see the unfamiliar, so grateful expression on her face as the corners of her lips slide up. She picks a glass of champagne off the waiter’s tray while she slowly approaches them.

“Hi, Morgan. How’s it going?” Neil asks politely, still holding Claire close to his side.

“Pretty good, Dr. Melendez. Still no calls from hospital and I hope no one needs me there soon,” she sips her drink and Park with his now wife again Mia strolls straight to them after noticing a group of people he knows.

“Dr. Melendez, Claire, Morgan,” they all exchange handshakes and hugs. “It’s a great place, isn’t it?” Park says, looking around enthusiastically.

“Yeah, I'm kinda jealous this wasn’t our place to marry again,” Mia replies, scoffingly.

“It’s absolutely perfect,” Claire exhales softly. “Your place was so beautiful, too.”

Claire’s hand touches Mia’s shoulder lightly while she remembers this gorgeous yard, they celebrate The Parks wedding, that was near the city. They had a small ceremony surrounded by family and friends. It was so intimate and heart-warming as everything around was cozy and lovely.

“I guess you two are gonna be next, huh?” Morgan suddenly says, nodding to Neil and Claire and making them frown and a little embarrassed as their last hard conversation comes to their minds.

Alex notices their long glances they are throwing to each other and chuckles lightly to clear the air and make sudden tension go. “Uh, so when will the ceremony have to start?”

Neil and Park continue talking, forgetting about this weird situation, and take some drinks for themself to relax a bit. Shaun and Glassman with Lea and Debbie join after a while and look as impressed as the others by the view from the terrace.

“It’s nice out there, but I like it more on the ground,” Shaun says, looking down the railing.

“Hey, how come you make it earlier than us, we get on the road at the same time,” Andrews appears with Isabell and greets everyone.

“We know a shortcut to that place,” Neil replies fake-secretively and chuckles as Andrews rolls his eyes.

Claire looks at Morgan quickly and sees her regretful expression. She smiles softly, soothing Reznick and making her know with a gaze that her question was too sharp and inappropriate, but it’s fine.

And then the groom, Ethan – a solid, middle-aged man, dark-haired with whites a bit at the sides, but still looking good and pretty young for his age – appears with an officiant, more older man, that looks calm and smiles softly to the excited groom.

It’s time.

They all have a seat on their places that stands on both sides of an alley to the altar. As the soft music touches their ears, Ethan exhales and tries to stop nervously playing with his fingers as he waits for his soon-to-be wife. And there was she, Audrey slowly flowing down the alley, between the guest’s seats, swallowing excitedly, holding onto her small bouquet with white and lavender flowers.

And as she gets to her place in front of Ethan, who can’t help but smile genuinely to her and his teary eyes look into hers, and the ceremony starts, Claire grabs Neil’s hand and tangles their fingers unintentionally. Melendez’s eyes dart to his love, who looks at the groom and bride as they hold hands and can’t take their eyes off each other, like no one’s around and listening to the officiant introduction.

“Now, Ethan and Audrey, you can make your vows,” he says softly and nods to the couple as they glances with a blank stare at him for a moment.

Ethan takes a piece of paper out of his pocket and, looking it over, starts speaking.

“Audrey, I actually can’t believe you agreed to be my wife,” he chuckles nervously, making everyone smile. “My heart is so full knowing I get a chance to make you as happy as I am having you in my life, because you’re the most intelligent, most powerful, most beautiful person I ever knew. Being there for you, no matter how tough our life could be, making every step with you, support you, respect you and your choices, take care about you, because that’s what you do to me already, is the best thing I could ever ask for,” he just looks into her eyes and holds her hands, remembering his vow by heart and just saying what he feels like now. “I love you so much and now I can see the light of a happy future with you, Audrey,” Ethan leans to her face, seeing her tearful eyes and open-mouthed, touched expression on her face, and kisses her suddenly.

“It’s not over yet,” the officiant makes a laugh.

Claire snuggles to Neil’s side and he hugs her with love, placing a kiss on the crown of her head. She’s shivering and doesn’t know if it’s because of this heartfelt speech of Ethan or a wave of the cool air that appears after sun starts to go down slowly. Melendez takes off his jacket carefully and covers her in it, still holding her to his side firmly.

“Ethan, I never thought I could meet a person whose life goals so similar to mine. But here I am, with you, the most caring and supportive man who helps me get through all downs and celebrate all ups we have together or apart; my best friend who makes me laugh all the time, cracking jokes and goofing around with me, and encourages me to get better every day and not be afraid of what the life has for me; my soulmate who’s just always there for me, whom I can trust, be comfortable with, sharing anything I want to and be sure you understand. You are the person I can be myself and I’m so thankful to finally meet you and being able to be with you. I love you, Ethan, and I want to make your life as full and happy as you make mine, want to be there for you and be the most supportive and understanding spouse, because you deserve it,” Ethan touches her cheek to throw away the tear that slowly flows down her face and Audrey smiles to him brightly and thankfully.

The Officiant gives them rings.

“With these beautiful vows, I am grateful to ask, Ethan, do you take Audrey to be your wife and promise to love, honor and cherish her until death parts you?”

“I do,” he responded confidently and placed a ring on her finger.

“Audrey, do you take Ethan to be your husband and promise to love, honor and cherish him until death parts you?”

“I do,” Audrey pulls the ring on his finger and rubs his palms with her thumbs lightly.

“By the power vested in me, I pronounce you husband and wife. Now, you may kiss,” officiant says and everyone stands up immediately to cheer the newlyweds with soft applause and some not so loud whooping. It all keeps their first kiss in the new titles in an intimate state.

The kiss they shared was full of love and cherish for each other, but the only thing Neil could actually think about the whole time is this amazed by the ceremony woman, who clings to him and he couldn’t protest because he likes having her this close. Claire chuckles softly to herself, wiping her tears away and exchanging glances with Morgan who suddenly looks overly emotional too. And these wedding vows made Neil’s eyes tearful too, because it was just perfect and he’s so happy for his old friend and so sad because of Claire’s fear to get married with him.

But if she wants to live her life just like that and doesn’t need to have any official proof of their relationship, so be it.

As all the people start making their way to newlyweds for hugs and kisses and congratulations, Neil feels Claire’s hand’s now on his face as she pulls him closer and their mouths meet for a few seconds, just to comfort themselves after that emotional ceremony they just witnessed. Her lips slowly move with his and then she pulls away, “I love you,” he whispers, feeling a couple of tears in his eyes that start to fall.

Claire’s heart plummets as she wipes his tears away. “Oh, baby, I love you too,” she replies quietly with a light scoff, that makes him smile.

The wedding party was under roof in the big hall of the house they were at, with food and drinks and dancing ground, when the sun actually went down and it became a little cold outside to stay for the reception and everything. And then Audrey’s and Ethan’s first dance comes and slow music flows into the hall, making them all just watching the beautiful couple as they slowly move together in the rhythm of the song.

“They’re so happy,” Claire notes thoughtfully and Neil run his hand up and down her back.

“They are,” it’s the only words he can say, stunned by the moment and situation.

“Neil...” She starts but backs off, not knowing what to say.

As the couple's dance ends and everyone is busy to congratulate them again, even Neil too, and then dance more, Claire slowly retreats to the terrace to make her thoughts together. As her hands rests on the railing she realizes that she stopped breathing for a minute and now tries to catch a breath, inhales deeply and then slowly exhales. In and out, she repeats to herself, trying to stop another wave of emotions.

She’s scared to confess that actually it’d be great to have something like this with Neil; to make vows that will mean not just something, everything; to be surrounded by friends and family – they both don’t have a lot of both of them, so it would’ve been a small and so intimate wedding. And they’d give promises to each other in front of their closest people, God and officiant, feeling this kind of fulfillment with joy and excitement and happiness as they pronounce and kiss.

It would have been nice to call Neil her husband, she thinks, fearful of everything that comes through her mind right now and not being able to do something about it or just turn it off even for just a moment.

She always runs from men and relationships, marriage never was her priority because she saw a lot of it that went wrong. And she can’t let it happen with Neil. Not with him.

“Hey, are you okay?” He hesitates, staying next to the door to leave at any moment if she wants him to.

“Yes, I just... ugh,” she exhales, crossing her hands on her chest and still not turning around to look at him.

“Claire, if it bothers you too hard we can go home, I just have to tell Audrey...” he already wants to hold her hands and takes her away, but she refuses.

“It’s great here and I want to stay. And you don’t have to leave your friend’s wedding just because of me, you know.”

He approaches her and stands right beside her, making their arms touch. Her face is tensed as she bites the inside of her cheek, still thinking about what her therapist said about her fears last night.

_”It’s okay to be scared of changes, especially in your life. But if you just could think for a second is it worth a try? Is it the thing you actually want but still run away from this commitment? You have to trust not only him but yourself too to be able to stay together, because you scared more of loneliness and love-losing.”_

_“I’m scared to hurt his feelings,” Claire replies anxiously._

_“You won’t, Claire if you’ll start to trust yourself. With what I saw and what I knew from you about your boyfriend, I think you both are on the same page. I understand what you’ve been going through and I want you to think about marriage without any complications that were in others relationships. It is just your decision and if you think that it’s totally okay right now and you don’t want anything else, then that’s the right choice, too. I want you to understand that there’s no one who can choose something for you, it’s only up to you. Your mother’s life and your friend’s life isn’t yours and their experience of relationships isn’t related to yours.”_

_“And what should I do? I should’ve knew that Neil want to be married, but we never talk about it... before yesterday,” deserves everything.”_

_“You should do only what you think is right, discuss it with him and find a right way. Have you thought about the future?” The woman asks and Claire nods hesitantly. “Please, describe it to me, Claire,” She tilts her head and looks at her patient with studying yet discreet gaze to minimize Claire’s confusion._

_“I... well... I still work in the hospital but as an attending surgeon and Neil’s too. We have a big house in a peaceful neighborhood with a green yard, like the one Neil and I saw a little while ago, it was amazing... Uh-um... okay... We’re still completely in love with each other. We have enough money and some time off work to travel around the world,” Claire’s thoughts are a little tangled, “I’ve never been out of the country and if we’ll have a chance I’d love to see some new places, even if it’s new for me and familiar to him, he once told me it’d be cool to have a trip together,” she explains quickly before continue. “And we have a child, maybe even a few kids, because Neil’s always wanted to have a big family and I think it’s nice, too... But it’s just casual stuff, you never know, what your future holds actually,” she notices small smile of her therapist and relaxes a bit._

_“Sometimes, we only have to think about something and it happens. Do you think Neil imagines your life together the same way?”_

_Claire plays with her fingers, leaning down with her forearms on her knees, “I hope so.”_

_“Claire, you just told me about the house you saw together, about trips and about him wanting a big family, why are you so unsure of what he wants?”_

_It just hits her hard when she realized that he really wants this kind of future and wants to be with her, she just never connects these little thoughts together. But her therapist did it in second._

_“You’re excited about the future and uncertain if Neil wants to be in it, but you also holds little things about him and his dreams in the back of your mind and you just never noticed it.”_

_“What are you trying to say?”_

_“I’m saying that you still keep in mind your mother’s words that nobody’s going to love you and you can’t assure yourself that it happened, you are loved now. I want you to think about it more, about your feelings and really listen to him when he tells you about his feelings for you, focus on that, okay?”_

_“Okay,” Claire stops for a moment, looking away, “I just want to be with him. And it’s so good how it is,” she confesses and sighs softly, seeing her therapist nods._

_“If that’s what you really want, then that’s the key,” she smiles to her patient._

“Claire, what is it?” She hears his nervous voice as he touches her hand lightly.

“I just... was thinking about what my therapist said about my fears and... Audrey’s and Ethan’s commitment is so strong... I want to be with you forever, you know that, right?” She still looks in front of her on the vineyards under burning sunset light, feeling like she’s on the edge emotionally.

“Of course I know, Claire. And you know I’ll never leave you?” He tilts his head and tangles their fingers in a soothing way, pulls her hand up and kisses it.

She covers herself more into his jacket, feeling his scent all over her now and enjoying it. “I know,” she repeated his words a few times in her head as she was told by her therapist to really _know_ how he feels about her. “Please, tell me you love me?” Her eyebrows lift in a begging way and he leaves another kiss on her hand eagerly.

“How can I not love you, sweetheart?” Neil’s hands take her face to daze under her fond gaze she always gives him. “I love you, Claire Browne,” her cheeks heats under his tender touches.

She leans into his embrace, closing her eyes tightly and hoping he won’t fade away.

“Hey, I want to give you something,” he puts his hand into the pocket of his jacket and pulls out a small box, hearing Claire’s sharp inhale. “No-no, I just... It belongs to you, Claire, it has to and there’s no second thoughts on it, just the gift...”

“When did you buy this?” She whispers, taking the box slowly from his hands yet not opening it.

“A few months ago,” he responds boldly, playing with her curls lightly.

Claire gasps, feeling guilty because she knows why he bought it or rather what for. And because he kept it for so long, trying to... what?.. find a good moment, she thinks. But it never happened. She didn’t give him a chance.

And noticing her blameworthy look, he places a kiss on her temple, “Claire, it’s okay. I want it to be yours, just like that. I realized that it doesn’t matter, because I’m so happy to have a family with you and knowing you want it too, that’s more than enough for me.”

“But it’s not, Neil. Oh, god you really wanted to propose and waited for so long. And I ruined it,” she covers her face with her hands. “I am so sorry,” she looks at him again and squeezes his forearms.

“Don’t be, it’s fine with me now.”

“I love you so much,” her voice’s muttered and sad.

“I know, Claire,” she exhales softly at the sweet way Neil always spells her name.

Claire suddenly leans up, kissing him hard and passionate. Her hand’s rested at the nape of his head and rubbed it gently as he got out of his frozenness and responded to her, wrapping his arms around her.

And then she just pulls away, still holding his neck, “Thank you.”

“Open it, sweetheart,” his hot breath touches her ear and she shivers lightly, smiles to him.

She gives him a long look before speaking again, “We’ll never know unless we try, right?”

Neil frowns as Claire finally opens the box and pulls out a ring. A perfect ring, like it was just made for her. A delicate white gold band with a remarkable oval cut, clear diamond. Her breath’s gone sharply as she saw it and then, under his thrilling gaze, she places it on her ring finger slowly, feeling how good it fits.

“You probably measured my finger secretly, huh,” Claire gasps, looking into his dark excited eyes, and chuckles lightly as single teardrops down her cheek.

“I did,” he smiles playfully and rubs her left palm, looking at her actual ring finger now.

“And you wanted it to be an overly romantic proposal with flowers and candles and drinks at home one evening?” Neil wipes her cheek with his thumb and she turns her head lightly to the side to kiss his palm.

“You know me so well,” his breath still taken by this lovely woman and her mysterious actions, but he doesn’t want to push her.

Claire looks at him with her soothing smile and inhales, “Do you still want to marry me, Neil?”

“Claire...”

“I wanna... give it a try... Do you?” She asks as he looks at her carefully.

And then, seeing her so beautiful in the last sunset lights and so scared and excited at the same time, he finally makes a move. Neil stands on one knee, still holding her hand, and looks right up in her bright green eyes, mirroring his own emotions.

“Claire, I just want you to know that my life is so meaningful because of you and you makes me a better version of myself. You inspire me like no one else could. And if you let me I’ll continue trying to make your life greater. Will you do me an honor and marry me?”

“I love you,” she replies and gets down on her knees to kiss him gently, wrapping her hands around his neck and feeling his arms locked around her. She’s peppering kisses on his face and making him laugh softly to this sweet action. “Oh, and I will, yes, Neil,” her lips meet him again and they fade into another passionate kiss.

“You’ll never stop amaze me, Claire Browne,” his forehead rested against hers and she smiled genuinely to him, seeing a smugly smile on his face and the happiest look. “You really want it?” He asks again, rubbing her flushed cheeks and placing a kiss on her puffy lips.

“I want it,” Claire nods softly as he loses himself into those beautiful deep green eyes of hers.

“What’s going on here? Drank too much and standing on feet isn’t your option anymore?” They hear Andrews’s voice and stand up immediately, remaining in each other’s embrace, as Claire dusts her dress off.

“No, just... dealing with something,” Neil exchanges glances with Claire, trying to understand if she wants to share it with everyone.

And there’s really all of their friends on the terrace now as other guests are still dancing inside. Morgan studies them with her squinted eyes and gasps as she notices a ring on Claire’s finger and puts two and two together.

“I knew it! I knew it!” Morgan yelps, turning around to see puzzles in the face of the others.

“Dr. Melendez proposed to Claire, she has a new ring that wasn’t there before,” Shaun explains excitedly. “Congratulations,” he says in his own manner, clasping hands together.

“Oh my God, big congratulations to you two,” Audrey exhales and approaches them quickly to give a hud as Ethan follows her.

“Congratulations!” He says to the couple as the others, including Morgan, Shaun, Glassman and Andrews come closer to them and hug.

“It's great news,” Park says, knowingly grinning at them.

Audrey places her hand on his shoulder and soothingly rubs it as she did that night. “See, it’s all okay,” she whispers. “Be good to her, she deserves it.”

“Of course. She deserves everything,” he looks at his now fiancée and can’t help but smile as she chats with overly excited Morgan, who looks at her ring.

“I’m sorry it happens on your day,” he says and Audrey only brushes it off.

“Oh, it’s fine. Now we have even more reasons to drink and celebrate,” she smiles and pats his shoulder.

“Let’s have fun, you lovebirds, night is still young,” Glassman suddenly said and they all agree with him, scoffing.

Neil wraps his arms around Claire again as they move to come inside behind the others and steals kisses from one another.

“It’s never gonna be regular about us,” she grins to him and covers his beckoning lips with hers once again.

“Yeah, but it’s gonna be special,” Neil replies and Claire leans her head to his chest, smiling to herself and hoping it’s worth it.


End file.
